Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Brainy Woman Seeks Partner...

Is dating more difficult if you're smart (say, in the top 5% of the population, intellectually)?

Author Dr. Alex Benzer says yes - for lots of reasons. Blogger Melissa Noble says no - no worse than for anyone else. I'll let them argue it out, but...

This question puts me in mind of the one good piece of advice that my mother gave me when I was an adolescent who was struggling with social awkwardness:

Find someone who is skilled socially. Study that person. Emulate their behaviors.

Contrary to what some people say (particularly the first respondent to Dr. Benzer's article), it isn't about changing who you are (i.e. you don't have to play the dumb bohunk or airhead bimbette), but rather acquiring a new skill, one that takes study and practice. It's like learning a new language or a new game. Smart people like learning new things, right? Well, I do.

I feel I have to mention, though, that one of the things that isn't addressed in either article is the difference between dating and being "in a relationship." Developing better social skills may help you to make connections that lead to dates. However, transitioning from dating into a full-blown relationship is yet another skill to be mastered. Where's the book on How To Manage a Long-Term Relationship For Smarties? Subtitle: How To Set Aside Your Ego and Let Your Partner Be Smarter Than You Sometimes...

No comments:

Post a Comment