Sunday, February 28, 2010

On Contemplating an Arranged Marriage

Or, I Became a Spinster at Age 20

In my work as a sex toy educator, I do a lot of networking and meet dozens of new people each week. 

This week, I met a man who was a Muslim and had emigrated to America from the Middle East.  I assumed that, based on his religious faith, he would be uncomfortable talking to me, so I didn't make an effort to socialize with him.  However, we ended up leaving the event together, and we struck up a very meaningful conversation in which we covered The Rules of Muslim Sex (my caps) as well as how to target sex education for Muslim youth. 

It was an extremely enlightening and interesting discussion, and I've revisited the memory all week.  When I get some time, I'd like to find some reading materials to fill in the blanks for me.

However, one of the things that really jumped out at me is that there is an assumption (an assumption that is shared by many major religions) that youth are saving themselves sexually for marriage and practicing abstinence because they expect to be married in a timely fashion.  To me, timely means around age 18-24 for women, and perhaps a little older than that for men.

Now, what happens if you go to graduate school or you're a late-bloomer or you simply don't find your mate in the marriage game during those years and somehow end up single in your mid-30s (like me!)?  Is a lifetime of sexual frustration and loneliness your reward for abstinence?  As an added bonus, you will probably also get to spend the prime of your life caring for your aging parents because you're the family spinster/bachelor. 

Arranged marriages are the safety net in this equation, I think.  Surprisingly, I'm not against arranged marriages - I've read the research that shows that they can last longer and be "more sucessful" than love matches.  When I was 18, I would've gone kicking and screaming bloody murder to the altar, but now?  Sign me up.  I have a bunch of home repairs that need doing, and I could really use a second income around here. 

Back to the thought that's really been entertaining me today:

Who would my parents have arranged for me to marry back when they were still in control of my fate?  Who would they pick now?

Think about it - if your parents would have arranged your marriage when you were 18, who would they have chosen?  How do you think that marriage would have been?  Could you have made it work or would you have been sleeping in separate bedrooms within the first year?

I'd love to hear your stories!

Sharon, Sex Toy Educator
Owner, Primrose Path

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Hair Club for Men

Ah, Craigslist.  You provide all of us with hours and hours of entertainment.  This guy is looking for advice on what he should do with his body hair to make him more attractive to women.  Obviously, he hasn't heard that women are into intangibles (i.e. money, status, and a sense of humor), not hair maintenance. 

Part of me wants to respond to his questions and help him out.  Honestly, I admire his frankness.  The rest of me is laughing at his ability to describe his armpit hair.  What advice would you give him about hair maintenance for men?
If you ladies of Craigslist could answer some basic questions about body hair maintenance you will not only have my eternal gratitude, but who knows, maybe I'll get my shit together one of these days and you're good deed will be rewarded by a well quaffed body and junk. I assume the rules are not universal, so I'll describe myself briefly. I'm about 6' tall and 185 pounds. Roughly that translates to solid man body. I've got muscles and can fill up a space but I'm not super ripped, nor am I slender enough to be lithe. If I were a narcissistic schmo with body issues I'd be telling myself I look like Russell Crow. To be clear, I'm not saying I have Russell Crow's body, I'm saying that if dropped everything else and dedicated myself to adding fifteen or twenty pounds of lean muscle to my body, that would be the body I would be shooting for.

I don't want to mess with my chest hair, it has a really nice shape, it's thick enough but soft and tapers off well before it gets to the shoulder. Stomach hair I can take or leave though. As it is, there's a pretty well pronounced happy trail plus about a four inch diameter ploom of thin dark hair radiating from the belly button. Arm hair is really no problem, I've got enough to not look like a child but I singed and re-singed my arms every day for two years at a factory job in highschool, so arms aren't really an issue. I'm also pretty happy my level of leg hair, though I do get hair on my toes. Is that a problem? I'd be perfectly comfortable getting rid of that. My back, thank God, is hairless and I can pluck the occaisonal spider hair from my shoulders. Armpit hair, a bit unruly and tends to want to always stick straight out. This means that when I fold my arms their are often hairs sticking out straight forward as if they are aiming in front of me.

Finally, the junk/butt region. I got no hair on my ass cheeks, but things get pretty dense in between. I shaved in between there once on a lark and spent a very sad week with a stubbly butt. When I was a teenger my friends told me it was real important to shave one's pubes so that the business looks bigger. I was both pretty well naturally endowed such that making it appear bigger wasn't a concern, and, frankly I wasn't getting laid anyway so I never got in the habit of tidying up.

Now that you know more than anyone could possibily want to about my body and its hair than you could possibily want or need please, if it's not too much trouble could you please answer the following with an eye towards making a girl enjoy seeing me naked.

I'll start easy:
1) Toe hair, issue or no?
2) If I'm not gonna shave my chest is it best to just leave the stomach be as well? If no, what shoud be trinned and what, if anything should stay.
3) Is hair btween my butt cheeks a problem? If yes, can you recommend a strategy other than a safety razor?
4) I'd feel rediculous shaving my armpits, but the hair does poke out in a less than Fred Astaire manner. Can I trim it? Will it look like I trimmed it, i.e. would that be noticeable, and if it were to be noticed, would that be a problem at all?
5) Finally, the junk. I know it's gotta be trimmed, it's a damn jungle down there, but how. Should it be uniform throughout. Is there a good length to go with, I was thinking like a number 2 or 3 guard. Anything fancy I should consider? Are there parts that really ought to be totally hairless. That kinda thing.

Friday, February 12, 2010

What's HOT this Valentine's Day?

And this year's Best Seller for Valentine's Day is...
InnerVibe Vibrating Penis Ring!  

Were you surprised? 

Forget about "Penis Envy" - the fact is that men are jealous of women and their sex toys.  A penis ring, or cock ring, like the one from InnerVibe, makes them feel like they finally get their chance to play.  Turn on the vibrations, and women have something to to get excited about, too. 

At Primrose Path, we know how much men like gadgets. 

Cock rings are a mystery to many women (and men, too).  Thus, Primrose Path presents a lesson in the Why and How of cock rings.  (Disclaimer: The following information applies safely only to the cock rings that Primrose Path offers.  Keep in mind that a cock ring should not be worn for more than 20-30 minutes at a time.)

What does a cock ring do?  The main function of a cock ring is to restrict bloodflow from the penis back into the body, thus prolonging an erection.

The longer version goes like this: When a man gets an erection, the penile tissues become engorged with blood.  Over time, if there is sexual activity without orgasm, the blood gradually drains back into the body, and the penis becomes flaccid again.  Certain positions, such as ones that feature the Woman on Top, speed up this process.  Gravity works against a man who is flat on his back.  The constriction provided by a cock ring prevents the blood from flowing back into the body, thus maintaining an erection for a longer period of time.

Frequently, vibrating bullets are added to cock rings, giving them more functionality and flexibility for partner use.

How is a cock ring worn?  There are two ways to wear a cock ring.  

In the first method, it is worn simply around the base of the penis.  With vibrations on, this will add clitoral stimulation to the penis shaft for the enjoyment of a female partner.

In the second method, the ring is stretched to encircle the scrotum, and then the semi-rigid penis is pushed/pulled through the ring.  This method is the surest way to prolong an erection and prevent the penis from becoming flaccid too quickly.

Wow, I swear I just heard a chorus of men saying, "What?!!  My SCROTUM?!!"   Remember - the goal of a cock ring is to restrict blood from flowing back into your body.   The Vibrating Penis Rings shown in both pictures are made of silicone, and are stretchy enough to slide easily over a fist and be worn as a wrist corsage, if you're in the mood to flaunt your evening plans.

Don't believe me?  Here's a video to prove it.  A big thank you to the staff at Babeland for demonstrating five ways to use a vibrating cock ring.

The Innervibe Vibrating Penis Ring is the perfect item for a first-time user who wants to try a new gadget because it's inexpensive and disposable.  You get about 30-45 minutes of vibrations - it's great for weekend getaways!  

For more experienced cock ring users, Primrose Path offers the Bo from LELO - a rechargeable silicone cock ring that will provide years of enjoyment and experimentation (see the photo on the right).  LELO is the Hyundai of the adult novelty industry - they provide a one-year warranty on all of their motors.

Both products are available at  It might be too late now for Valentine's Day delivery, but it's never too late to try something new and

Be Led Astray!