Friday, November 5, 2010

First Date Don'ts

I have now been dating for 21 years.  Sad but true.

In those years, I have been on a LOT of first dates.  Most of them have been boring, average affairs, but some of them have been eye-rolling, groan-worthy productions where I've wished I was at home with a cold.  Based on those experiences, here is my list of "Don'ts" for guys on a first date:

1) Don't get sloppy with your appearance.  Only Collin Farrell and Adrian Grenier can pull that off.  Dress nicely. Shave. Get a haircut.

2) Don't talk about the history of corn. Or your health issues.  The first is coma-inducing. The second is just icky.

My date last night was disappointing.
3) Don't get "handsy."  Experts agree that the girl will make the first touch, if she's interested.  It's called flirting.  And don't press other body parts up against your date, either. 

4) Don't force a first kiss just to "get it over with."  It's a mood-killer.  Let it happen naturally.

5) Don't make comments about beating up women, children or animals. It's not funny.

What have I forgotten?  What "Don'ts" do you have?